The optometrist informed me I need bifocals. Or “progressive lenses,” as they call them now, which seems almost condescending.
And today is my anniversary, and I’m lying in a guest bed instead of with Bruce because it’s closer to a bathroom. This sucks.
Add Private Offices to the list of home-improvement needs.
His first strategy is to say the following sentence in Christian Bale’s as Batman voice: “I was givin’ Carl the titty.”
I hate it. If you don’t know how Christian Bale played batman, YouTube it. And then say “I was givin’ Carl the titty” in that voice.
You can buy a paternity testing kit at a drug store?